Running a haiku contest.
I thought I'd enter.
That's up my alley.
I knew I could create some,
Like god did with Earth.
Ten minutes it took,
Not six days. And I wonder:
Why'd god take so long.
Maybe he's lazy.
Maybe he was on something.
I mean: look around.
My haiku? Not great.
But nobody worships me
For making this junk.
Here are the haiku
I submitted to Hemant.
Hope you enjoy them.
Haiku 1While I think of it.
No god in the sky.
Shocking to some, but not me.
Why would I want one?Haiku 2
He died for my sins?
Did I ask for that favor?
Keep it to yourself!Haiku 3
Christians and Muslims,
Jews, and Hindus, and Buddhists:
All pains in the ass.Haiku 4
Wanted: messiah.
Must be a Republican.
Apply to: Karl Rove.Haiku 5
Creationism —
Fill their young heads with nonsense.
But claim it’s science.Haiku 6
Faith for Obama
Clinton, Edwards, Richardson:
Democrats suck, too!
Nonbelieving Litera-
Ti. (That's a mouthful).
Next book? The Sparrow.
Ordinary girl picked it.
Check out her post here.
Comments are welcome.
But please don’t write me haiku
Unless you can count.
It’s five-seven-five.
Those are the specs to follow.
If you can’t, write prose.
I don't know Haiku, so I won't bother to try. But it LOOKS like you did good!
ReplyDeleteJohn-Evo, you said:
ReplyDeleteI don't know haiku,
So I won't bother to try.
LOOKS like you did good!
There, but for the deletion of two unnecessary words, is exactly what you wrote. You chugged out a haiku without even realizing it. I guess when one grows old enough to attain wisdom, one just thinks in haiku automatically.
Haiku...wasn't that the overthrow of the gov't of Nepal? Or was that a high coup?
ReplyDeleteFabulous haiku.
ReplyDeleteAtheistic words from the
Exterminator.
Jesus Christ how I
detest all of this counting.
It makes my head ache.
Can I finish now?
Before something horrific
happens in my brain?
I don't think I can.
It's like some sick addiction.
Heroin haiku.
"You chugged out a haiku without even realizing it. I guess when one grows old enough to attain wisdom, one just thinks in haiku automatically."
ReplyDeleteThat's why I like you, Exterminator on net;
you see I'm wise, guy.
Babs:
ReplyDeleteHaiku make you nuts?
At least they're not limericks.
Those drive me crazy.
A Nantucket man
With a penis enormous.
He'd suck it for fun.
John:
You give me straight lines?
I try to make funny jokes?
OK, I have one.
End of your haiku,
This is what you had written:
You see I'm wise, guy.
I'd say that ending
Was almost correct -- except
Leave out the comma.
There's skill, there, in places
ReplyDeletebut I'm crazy about form
-- could be a mirage
Six syllables, there.
ReplyDeleteGuess I'm not really cut out
for syllabic verse.
"I'd say that ending
ReplyDeleteWas almost correct -- except
Leave out the comma."
In my new wisdom
As a author of comma
Left as enigma.
slow, slow is my work
ReplyDeletemakes my head nod off -- sleep, sleep
need warm bed and tea
a flu shot feels like
being mildly drunk; should I
call a cab tonight?
Golden Compass is
ReplyDeletetrying to kill God? well he'd
have to exist first
Lynet:
ReplyDeleteSometimes the finest
of mathematicians still
have trouble counting.
ordinary:
While you are ailing,
insist husband pamper you.
That's what my wife does.
But me, however,
when I'm sick I'd rather be
left the fuck alone.
John-Evo:
I am now calling
haiku moratorium
at No More Hornets!
"I am now calling
ReplyDeletehaiku moratorium
at No More Hornets!"
Good thing since I can't take anymore of this crap in all these comments. I liked the original haikus. Is that the plural form Ex? I have no idea. Wait a minute now, look at what you've done to me. I'm stuck in haiku. I'll get you for this. What the hell is going on? Is it contagious? No-god damn it all! Oh Spartacus on a cross! Damn you to Texas!
"ordinary:
ReplyDeleteWhile you are ailing,
insist husband pamper you.
That's what my wife does."
Your wife insists that OG's husband pamper her?
John-Evo: Notice that there's no possessive pronoun in my original haiku. Just "husband" as a Platonic ideal. I suspect that neither you nor I can live up to it. Even Plato, I've heard, was occasionally disappointed in his real-life husband.
ReplyDeletePamper? What's this word you talk about?
ReplyDeleteActually when I'm sick all I want to do is sleep.. and be cranky. My husband pampers me all the time, so being sick it's no different. :)