Thursday, January 03, 2008

Breaking News: Fuckabee Hucks Up a Meme

As I've said many times before, memes are stupid. However, my good friend the chaplain has called me up to the altar, and I'm dying to have an opportunity to preach.

Here's her description of the meme:

The rules are pretty simple. First, I’ve been asked to select three members of my blogroll that I think constitute a unique combination that may not be found elsewhere. I may say as little or as much as I like about them; I promise to play nicely. Second, I must tag three people to continue the meme.
Now, to tell you the truth, I don't know what the hell the meme's instigator meant by "a unique combination."

Do I try to contrast the youngest blogger on my blogroll with the oldest? I'm pretty sure the former is Yinny, and I'm guessing the latter is that old fart, Ric.

Or do I look for fairly new atheists like JP and Lifeguard, and point out how they contrast with some folks who have been atheists for a long time, like Evo and Philly?

Maybe I should note similarities and differences among bloggers from the west (Mojoey), the south (Babs), the midwest (Hemant) and the northeast (SI)?

Hey, how about some godless women vs. some heathen women? Judging from what DaVinci has been into lately, I'm sure he'd enjoy that one.

But, I've just heard a report that the biggest moron ever, creationist Mike Huckabee, has been declared the Republican winner of the Iowa caucuses. In a country not ruled by the media no one would give a good goddamn what a nothing place like Iowa thinks. But here in The TV States of America, the ovine public might be talked into seeing that ignormaus as a viable candidate. For the next few days, we're going to be barraged with news about Pastor Huckleberry's "momentum." Journalistic crap like that could actually influence the primaries elsewhere, since the main criterion for presidential candidates seems to be something called "electability." Which has as much to do with real ability as an electric chair has to do with a real chair.

And so, since I'm unspeakably embarrassed to be an American right now, my pick for a unique combination of members of my blogroll contains three (actually four) furriners: heather and TW, from the (so far) more enlightened U.K.; C. L. Hanson, who wisely fled the Mormonism of our country (oh, yeah, that reminds me: Mittens came in second) for Europe; and Lynet, who lives on the other side of the world.

I tag no one. But if you're one of the enlightened few in this country and I've forgotten to give you a link, let me know and I'll do so while it's still legal.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

the biggest moron ever, creationist Mike Huckabee...

I'm pretty sure that Dumbya is dumber than Huckleberry Hound. FWIW, I'd rate them about even on the sleaze scale. Given the astonishing outcomes of the past two presidential elections, I'm hoping the American public doesn't continue showing off its stupidity by subjecting us to another 4-8 years of fundy madness. Of course, such hell on earth could be God's retribution for our reprobate ways.

the blogger formerly known as yinyang said...

Mike Huckabee scares me. A lot. I think I'm going to start looking into Canada's immigration policy now, in case I have to leave the country because he somehow got elected.

DaVinci said...

So lets get this straight shall we. The choice before americans at present is; A evangelical Christian fundamentalist who thinks anything scientific is hogwash, or a Woman (with lesbian overtones) or a black man. I guess we are about to see just how many Christians there are in this country, and maybe a good old fashon lynching. (Where all the white women at?)
I should mosey over to some Godless women, sounds interesting.

tina FCD said...

I'm with yinyang!

Alejandro said...

Fuckabee? I thought it was Fuckin' A?

Spanish Inquisitor said...

I'm going to ignore the meme aspect of this post, and talk about the politics. Here's the best case scenario to take from this:

Fuckabee actually does gain some momentum, through enough primaries to gain a few delegates, and the confidence to continue. Then a groundswell for Family Guwels (Mr. 9/11) overtakes him, and, after the Republican nomination of Guwels, Fuckabee breaks off into a third party run, splitting the Republican vote, and taking all the religious voters with him over a cliff, like lemmings to the sea.

Of course, this means we get a praying Democrat for our next President, but....

Did you hear the exit polls result from Iowa? 60% of the Republicans self-identified as evangelicals. Is there some way we could allow Iowa to secede to say, Fiji?

John Evo said...

Ex said: since the main criterion for presidential candidates seems to be something called "electability." Which has as much to do with real ability as an electric chair has to do with a real chair.

Excellent line!

I'm no more ashamed of America than I was yesterday. OK. So I'm pretty ashamed...

But you know ol' Polly-Evo. He, despite a life-time of cynicism, sees the up side of what happened yesterday.

Look. This is IOWA. Or, is that "Iowhite"? Like SI said, 60% of the GOP consider themselves EVANGELICAL. Of Course they chose the Huckster! And, let's be honest, the evangelicals can make or break ANY GOP candidate - nationwide. We know we're in a cultural war. Hell, blogs like ours prove it. This election is likely going to be a turning point, where all the backward thinking folks across America try to shore up their sinking ship one last time. I believe reason will rule the day. I don't see Huckleberry beating ANY Democrat in the general election.

On the other hand, this same very conservative, very white, state gave the nod to a black man named Barack Hussein Obama! It doesn't get much more starkly different than that. Barack may have his silly religious side, but he certainly makes no point of harping on it, telling us that America needs it, offending others who don't think like he does. He supports virtually every point (outside of atheism) that I think is important and that guys like Huck are adamantly against.

Back to where I agree with Ex - the media and this idea of "momentum" and "mistakes" that people make is just so much bullshit, as is the inordinate power that Iowa and New Hampshire have over shaping the ultimate choices that 300 million Americans will have in November.

PhillyChief said...

Let's face it, the majority of Republicans (I mean the actual players not the public) I don't believe really believe this religious crap. They've merely been exploiting an untapped voting block that guys like Reagan realized was there and successfully mined. Now yes, Dubya believes and and his daddy seemed to believe but not like Huckleberry. Go look at Kuo's book again about how the party exploited and how they candidly feel about the evangelicals. So I say let them run with Huckleberry. Hell, let it be a Huckleberry-Mittens ticket and let them get trounced. Maybe, just maybe, the Republican party might start rethinking this god crap and the moderates like Witman may take it over.

Of course if they win with Huckleberry-Mittens, we're fucked. I vow to stay and fight in the resistance though. I'm not fleeing the country, damn it!

John Evo said...

I'll stay with you, Philly. Nothing like having a 54 year old with a junk spine at your side in a battle!

So I say let them run with Huckleberry.

That's what I say... Let's put the culture war up to a vote and see who's stronger. If you have Fred Thompson vs. Hillary Clinton, you don't have the clear delineation of battle lines.

Are we "on topic"? I think Ex kind of opened the door to this.

The Exterminator said...

Evo:

You asked Are we "on topic"? I think Ex kind of opened the door to this.

First of all, anything except ads is "on topic" around here. Second: You are smack in the center of the topic. You couldn't be smacker. I not only opened the door but I used a bullhorn to invite everyone in.

I must admit that I've made a few cracks in the past about fleeing to Canada, eh? But in real life, I'd stay here with you and Philly and fight in the resistance. But I wouldn't be optimistic about our success. Unlike you guys, I take a rather dim view of humanity in general. It seems that we're evolving to the point where the reasoning parts of the brain will be absorbed within the Channel Surfing lobe.

Anyway, when the atheist concentration camps start being built, I'm outta here.

Alejandro said...

Personally, I'm disgusted by the way electability has replaced qualifications in the electoral process. Everybody's looking for the most marketable candidate instead of the ones with the pedigree for the job. I find it sad, for example, that Dodd and Biden, two incredibly qualified guys who have given their lives to public service had to drop out of the race.

And I don't buy the Hillary has experience bit. Does she have some qualifications? Sure. Do they make her THE qualified candidate for the job? No.

Even if she can change the oil herself, my auntn isn't qualified to fix a car because she spent over thirty years married to a mechanic.

John Evo said...

@ Ex - I know I WRITE a little differently than I feel. I'm probably more cynical than you give me credit for. Then again, you might understand.

@ Lifeguard - Hillary desperately plays the experience card, when in reality Obama has as much experience as her and most of the others have more. I don't mind her supposed lack of experience as I mind the way she approaches politics - and her desperation in claiming the experience is one of the indicative factors in why I dislike her.

I'd still encourage voters to support her should she get the Democratic nod.

Alejandro said...

"I'd still encourage voters to support her should she get the Democratic nod."

I agree and I think she will ultimately get the nod

Babs Gladhand said...

I'm the chick who lives in the state that the Huckster "governed". He is a slimy, pompous, lying, vile, bible-thumping hemorrhoid.

And his mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries.

Here is an article from the Arkansas Times that I thought was a bit humorous.

John Evo said...

Lifeguard quoted me, then said: I agree and I think she will ultimately get the nod

Fortunately, I don't. The Obama win, with Edwards in 2nd, gives me great hope!

I think I could get reasonably excited about an Obama candidacy. There's a lot more good than bad there. How refreshing would it be to have an intelligent, dynamic president again - one who supports peace, the environment and Constitutional integrity?

Lynet said...

Yeah, Obama looks nice. He's got religion, all right, but it looks to be genuine rather than pandering, which means he doesn't have to shove it into his policies to stop people from thinking he's one of those awful atheists. And he does seem to respect the separation of church and state better than most.

Huckabee is so not going to happen. But after GWB, I can understand why you don't like to be too sure. If I get caught in the USA doing a PhD when the curtain comes down, you'll let me be in your 'resistance' club, too, right?

Spanish Inquisitor said...

I'm enjoying the comments here. Some of the metaphors and descriptions are wonderful. Gotta repeat them just for the sake of seeing them again.

Even if she can change the oil herself, my aunt isn't qualified to fix a car because she spent over thirty years married to a mechanic.

and

He is a slimy, pompous, lying, vile, bible-thumping hemorrhoid.


With nods to the great Monty Py:

And his mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries.

Of course, I can comment like this becuase Ex said:

First of all, anything except ads is "on topic" around here. Second: You are smack in the center of the topic. You couldn't be smacker. I not only opened the door but I used a bullhorn to invite everyone in.

See? I was invited.

Anonymous said...

It doesn't matter what Huckabee really is, whether he's as vile as any Bush or a genuine saint. What matters is what the press decides to see and publish. Most people won't see past what shows up on the TV news sandwiched between the latest Britney idiocy and Lohan stupidity, or whatever the day's flavor of pop tart happens to be.

And could we not pick on hamsters so much?

PhillyChief said...

"Pop tarts". Brilliant.

Anonymous said...

philly -

Pop tarts are nasty things. I burned my hand on one once. Nasty burn too. A real pop tart, not the Britney kind.

Unfortunately I can't claim the phrase as it relates to the Spears-Lohan sphere of celebrity junk.

I'm surprised you haven't heard it before. Or have you? You're just messing with me, right?

Anonymous said...

Sorry, x, I forgot to ackowledge the meme citation. Thanks.

Also, What he said (Spanish Inquisition above. Brilliant phrases.)

I am grateful that you didn't seem bothered about the "pass it on bit". I tried. I really tried, I might yet manage it. But, right now, I am baffled about how to meet the "unique" combination objective.