tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post3005093019022638076..comments2023-11-24T03:48:54.813-05:00Comments on No More Hornets: An Atheist Goes to a WeddingThe Exterminatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14452054124550486048noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-41932564007204165362008-05-14T02:15:00.000-04:002008-05-14T02:15:00.000-04:00A couple of thoughts:This is a truly inspired piec...A couple of thoughts:<BR/>This is a truly inspired piece of writing, but just more of what we've come to expect from Ex.<BR/><BR/>Yin mentioned the first two paragraphs. For me it was the last two.<BR/><BR/>Billy mentioned a hammered dulcimer at his wedding. Any chance the player was named L.J. and did he also do a version of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" on the saw ?<BR/><BR/>CatherwoodAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-8318275816567402912008-05-12T12:52:00.000-04:002008-05-12T12:52:00.000-04:00Ex: I've always thought that herons look the most...Ex: I've always thought that herons look the most prehistoric, which is curious, because I believe they are one of the younger bird groups.<BR/><BR/>An easy way to remember the relationship between birds, mammals and reptiles is: We are all descended from a basal diapsid amniote. There, now, isn't that simple?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-47376389061631202252008-05-11T22:46:00.000-04:002008-05-11T22:46:00.000-04:00(((Billy))):I hope the bone you have to pick is th...<B>(((Billy)))</B>:<BR/>I hope the bone you have to pick is the wishbone. I can never get the family tree of those damned birds and dinosaurs straight. All I know is: A pelican looks prehistoric.<BR/><BR/><B>Tex</B>:<BR/>I'm not convinced that brides are the only ones who fixate on weddings. There are also mothers, aunts, sisters, and girlfriends. Are you and I sexist, or what?<BR/><BR/><B>breakers</B>:<BR/><I>I think the big-deal wedding in front of family and tribe and scary gods, started as a way to inhibit the blushing bride from running screaming from the wedding bower.</I><BR/>I'd substitute "groom" for "bride."<BR/>That's why a runaway bride is news but a runaway groom is <I>not</I>. It's the Man-Bites-Dog principle.The Exterminatorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14452054124550486048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-88051497026751035502008-05-10T23:59:00.000-04:002008-05-10T23:59:00.000-04:00I think the big-deal wedding in front of family an...I think the big-deal wedding in front of family and tribe and scary gods, started as a way to inhibit the blushing bride from running screaming from the wedding bower. "What would Mother think ... and we'd have to return all the gifts!"<BR/><BR/>As for me, I belong to a government agency so secret that the Secretary regularly disavows any knowledge of my actions. She's an old-fashioned girl that would <I>never</I> kiss and tell.breakerslionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14327290369084118043noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-61463289056765614622008-05-10T19:02:00.000-04:002008-05-10T19:02:00.000-04:00I'm a cynic when it comes to marriage.I think a lo...I'm a cynic when it comes to marriage.<BR/><BR/>I think a lot of the time it is hijacked by the bride turning it into a fashion show, "look at me" extravaganza.<BR/><BR/>Many women (particularly young ones) see it as a goal in itself and actively hunt for a partner who can be the perfect wedding accessory to hang off the bride's arm. <BR/><BR/>I like your refocusing of my attention to the ritualistic aspects of formalising a love between two people, but my head still tells me that many use the ceremony to try to create a bond rather than to commemorate one which is already there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-8533965623564814902008-05-09T22:09:00.000-04:002008-05-09T22:09:00.000-04:00Excellent post. Deserving of a Stermy.My wife and...Excellent post. Deserving of a Stermy.<BR/><BR/>My wife and I were married by a JP in her parents living room. We remember very little of it. The only part I remember is the hammered dulcimer player playing <I>Mary's Wedding</I> in a minor key. The wedding itself is a moment frozen in time -- it was so emotionally loaded that no change is possible.<BR/><BR/>After the wedding and the reception (in her parents dining room), and after all but the families had left, we changed into blue jeans, flannel shirts and sandals and had a wonderful barbecue in the back yard. That's the part I really remember.<BR/><BR/>Perfect moments are wonderful, but without growth, a relationship is doomed. My wife and I are very different people. We have both grown together and apart and we have ceased to be a couple. In my mind we are one.<BR/><BR/>The injection of Christ and God into a marriage may make growth more difficult. If God has blessed this particular marriage, this particular moment in time, should a mere human dare to change? dare to grow? dare to become adults? A holy marriage in God's name implies that the marriage is perfect in that one moment. Growth is sacrilige.<BR/><BR/>Again, wonderful post. Sounds like a perfect spot for a wedding.<BR/><BR/>I do have one bone to pick, though. Birds are descended from the archosauria (crocodylia, dinosauria and aves (based on the ankles) make up the archosaurs) not lizards (lacertillians). The lacertilians are a parallel lineage. Birds are descended from the common ancestor of archasaurs and lacertilians.<BR/><BR/>Sorry for the long post. It's still an occupational hazard.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-52359799953972295082008-05-09T18:36:00.000-04:002008-05-09T18:36:00.000-04:00"By the way, you folks have OG all wrong.She's NSA...<I>"By the way, you folks have OG all wrong.<BR/><BR/>She's NSA."</I><BR/><BR/>Doesn't matter. Homeland Security trumps all other alphabet soups. We also trump all deities, Supreme Court justices, presidents and vice-presidents. We are J. Edgar Hoover's best wet dream ever. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-39450876723055182572008-05-09T01:26:00.000-04:002008-05-09T01:26:00.000-04:00Despite all the crap that’s going on in the world,...<I>Despite all the crap that’s going on in the world, he managed to put other concerns aside to come to this insignificant small-time wedding on a beach in the middle of nowhere.</I><BR/><BR/>Hey, respect for the bride! What, you think god needed to be doing something else that day? Like what? Watching out for the weather in Myanmar? <BR/><BR/>By the way, you folks have OG all wrong.<BR/><BR/>She's NSA.John Evohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10868904051881865159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-38923870899460688522008-05-08T12:55:00.000-04:002008-05-08T12:55:00.000-04:00OG:I knew you were FBI because you wear the same k...<B>OG</B>:<BR/>I knew you were FBI because you wear the same kinds of dresses that J. Edgar Hoover did.<BR/><BR/><B>chappy</B>:<BR/><I>I'm Homeland Security.</I><BR/>Yes, I got your memo. Can you explain to me why I have to take off my shoes before blogging?<BR/><BR/><B>yinny</B>:<BR/>Thanks. Good to see you back in the Atheosphere. <BR/><BR/><B>Lifey</B>:<BR/>If you're not gonna be holding hands with Jesus at the altar, you're not gonna be having a Catholic wedding. Don't let the surroundings fool you. <BR/><BR/>Warning: If chappy's there, make sure that none of your friends or relatives is carrying more than three ounces of liquid or gel. And maybe you'd better delete the line about husbands and wives making explosives together.The Exterminatorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14452054124550486048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-5169639640387551182008-05-08T08:46:00.000-04:002008-05-08T08:46:00.000-04:00All: [incredulously] I thought OG was "Original Ga...All: [incredulously] I thought OG was "Original Gangsta?" She's with the fuzz?<BR/><BR/>Yingyang: I thought the same thing about Ex getting an award for this. Great post and an interesting comment thread.<BR/><BR/>Ex and Philly: I'm with you on rituals and their importance, but I'm not so sure that God intrudes upon them so much as he's a sort of obsolete participant for most of us (i.e., he does not exist).<BR/><BR/>The WTB and I are having a Catholic wedding in a Catholic Church and we've done our best to select vows, readings, and "prayers" that at the very least exclude references to Christ (not as hard as you'd think), marriage as between a man and a woman, or other things we don't agree with. <BR/><BR/>As for the rest of it, I see it as part of a tradition and part of both of our cultures, so we're doing it the old fashioned way. Oddly, it doesn't really bother me much.Alejandrohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08578877429793660591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-63260149438453090772008-05-07T21:15:00.000-04:002008-05-07T21:15:00.000-04:00I think someone should give you an award for this ...I think someone should give you an award for this post. Well written, and the first two paragraphs echo some of my thoughts about weddings.the blogger formerly known as yinyanghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12550757529685375908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-16492757578663621482008-05-07T18:09:00.000-04:002008-05-07T18:09:00.000-04:00OG is only FBI. You don't need to worry about her....OG is only FBI. You don't need to worry about her. I'm Homeland Security. I'm the one you'd better beware. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-28799685551769128892008-05-07T17:51:00.000-04:002008-05-07T17:51:00.000-04:00Damnit! How did you know??Damnit! How did you know??Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09429263099197981481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-57369094114439904292008-05-07T17:48:00.000-04:002008-05-07T17:48:00.000-04:00OG:Thanks. I hope you enjoy reading about my perso...OG:<BR/>Thanks. I hope you enjoy reading about my personal experiences just for their own sake. It would really disappoint me if I found out you were compiling a dossier for the FBI.The Exterminatorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14452054124550486048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-82044700708271415712008-05-07T17:36:00.000-04:002008-05-07T17:36:00.000-04:00First of all, Yunshui, good for you!Ex, a very nic...First of all, Yunshui, good for you!<BR/><BR/>Ex, a very nice post once again. I really enjoy when you post personal experiences.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09429263099197981481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-37833158295436942472008-05-07T16:44:00.000-04:002008-05-07T16:44:00.000-04:00bullet:Although I agree with you from a human poin...bullet:<BR/>Although I agree with you from a human point of view, I do try to look at soaring from the pelicans' perspective. I'm not convinced they find their flying either effortless or majestic. I think they're basically fixated on fish. <BR/><BR/>As the old saying goes: different feces for different species.The Exterminatorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14452054124550486048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-42709492946448950632008-05-07T16:20:00.000-04:002008-05-07T16:20:00.000-04:00If I could soar on the wind as effortlessly and ma...If I could soar on the wind as effortlessly and majestically as a pelican, I don't think I'd ever want to stop.<BR/><BR/>Just saying.bullethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12649812197402491992noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-21177651874355016762008-05-07T13:30:00.000-04:002008-05-07T13:30:00.000-04:00Yunshui:This has rather irked some of the more fai...<B>Yunshui</B>:<BR/><I>This has rather irked some of the more faith-inclined members of my immediate family, who are boycotting the ceremony as a result ...</I><BR/>Yes, they're so caught up in the faith biz that they can't understand how others aren't. It's that god-bully thing; only god (<I>and I</I>) know what's right for you. Good luck with your secular wedding. <BR/><BR/><B>Philly</B>:<BR/><I>Amazing how almost all of our rituals, for both good and bad times, get intruded upon by religion.</I><BR/>Well put. It bothers me that our rites-of-passage -- which I think we humans need -- are almost always jumbled up in superstitions. Sadly, many people cannot experience connectedness with others unless they have that arbitrary "team" thing going on. <BR/><BR/><I>Well I hope at least the food was good, and it was open bar.</I><BR/>The bar was open and did plenty of business, equally divided between cynics and rah-rah types. Rotgut brand booze tastes better and better the more you drink it. The food was typical wedding fare, not even as tasty as Chicken McNuggets or a Whopper. But I did enjoy the quality cigar at the end of the meal.The Exterminatorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14452054124550486048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-43610332499723138702008-05-07T10:14:00.000-04:002008-05-07T10:14:00.000-04:00I think you hit on something, the importance of st...I think you hit on something, the importance of stopping what we're doing from time to time, and especially to raise a certain moment up and freeze it in time by way of a ritual. Amazing how almost all of our rituals, for both good and bad times, get intruded upon by religion. There are births, deaths, passages into adulthood, marriages, and sometimes other events like buying homes. Rest assured when there's an important moment to be captured in life that will impress upon you forever after, religion is there mugging for the camera.<BR/><BR/>Well I hope at least the food was good, and it was open bar. ;)PhillyChiefhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03355892225956705948noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-83451779249953425612008-05-07T09:08:00.000-04:002008-05-07T09:08:00.000-04:00Your "fatheaded officiant" and her "ADHD deity" (l...Your "fatheaded officiant" and her "ADHD deity" (loved that!) are precisely the reason that my beloved and I will be getting married in a nice Georgian suite at the local registry office. This has rather irked some of the more faith-inclined members of my immediate family, who are boycotting the ceremony as a result, but I figure, screw 'em - like their god, they have had no part in our relationship so far, and won't be missed on the day we make it legal.<BR/><BR/>Chaplain, I think the deconverted wedding is a lovely idea - I'd certainly attend. Plus, I haven't written a speech yet, so could use something good to plagarise...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-81387186223229794442008-05-06T20:39:00.000-04:002008-05-06T20:39:00.000-04:00chappy:I don't really know how the couple felt abo...chappy:<BR/>I don't really know how the couple felt about the religious stuff. I know the bride's father is a "cafeteria" Catholic, so the woo impetus likely didn't come from him. <BR/><BR/>Your second comment made me think of this: in light of your recent deconversions, you and deac might want to write a new, meaningful, godless ceremony for yourselves and publish it as an online atheist "wedding." The rest of us could be witnesses. Wouldn't that be a novel post?The Exterminatorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14452054124550486048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-417382209907269662008-05-06T20:10:00.000-04:002008-05-06T20:10:00.000-04:00Sorry, I should have added this to the previous co...Sorry, I should have added this to the previous comment: the deacon and I wrote our hyper-Christian wedding ceremony. Were we true believers or what?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36453833.post-76042383408111690432008-05-06T20:08:00.000-04:002008-05-06T20:08:00.000-04:00Very nice post. Given the setting, I figured you w...Very nice post. Given the setting, I figured you were going to say it was an entirely secular wedding. Is the newly married couple actually into the religious stuff or were they just going along with a familiar ritual or keeping the family happy or any one of a hundred other reasons people have religious weddings?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com