Well, ding-dong the witch is dead. Jerry Falwell has gone to meet his maker: evolution, which resulted in the many microorganisms who will happily feast on that villain’s disgusting remains.
But who now will tell us which of the Teletubbies is a homosexual? Or reveal that the Antichrist is most likely a currently living male Jew? Who else can bilk millions of ignorant followers into contributing dollar after dollar to religio-fascistic causes, or threaten believers with an eternity in hell if they dare to even think of voting for a Democrat? What man or woman is left to proudly condone preemptive nuclear strikes on countries whose non-Christian peoples are the “enemies of god”? What voice will cry that there’s a conspiracy to steal Christmas? What smug, hate-filled demagogue will explain away the worst manmade and natural disasters as Jesus’s personal revenge against “pagans, abortionists, and the gays and lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle,” or claim that “the ACLU’s got to take a lot of blame” for the 9/11 terrorist attacks?
No longer will we Americans get to hear words of wisdom like:
- The idea that religion and politics don’t mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.
- If you’re not a born-again Christian, you’re a failure as a human being.
- Textbooks are Soviet propaganda.
- The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews.
- It appears that America's anti-Biblical feminist movement is at last dying, thank God, and is possibly being replaced by a Christ-centered men's movement which may become the foundation for a desperately needed national spiritual awakening.
- It is God's planet - and he's taking care of it. And I don't believe that anything we do will raise or lower the temperature one point.
- I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!
ADDENDUM (9:17 p.m. EDT): Now that I’ve had a chance to look over Blogworld’s reaction to this vile monster’s demise, I’m fascinated by how many bloggers, myself included, quoted “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead.” Why did that specific meme spring so readily to mind? I think it’s because the lyric is one of the few examples in popular culture of general jubilation over someone’s death. Normally, we all tend to show “respect for the departed,” at least for a little while. But millions of people — atheists, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Wiccans, feminists, environmentalists, peace-lovers, homosexuals, women in need of abortions, sufferers who would benefit from stem-cell research, Democrats, Liberals, Libertarians, the poor, the sick, the helpless, and all who deplore the purposeful spread of ignorance — were relentlessly targeted by that glib son-of-a-bitch who used his governmental connections to sow hatred and superstition at every opportunity. We’re all delighted to see that bastard finally board the outbound broomstick. As the song says: “Yo ho, let’s open up and sing, and ring the bells out!”