Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I'll Be Celebrating with Some Whine

When I hear that a friend has fallen into matrimony, I feel the same sorrow as if I had heard of him lapsing into theism
Algernon Charles Swinburne
There’s no reason why anybody but me and a certain other party should give a shit about this, but I thought I’d share it with my readers.

I’ve been married for a year now. This is my first anniversary.

Over the course of twelve months, I’ve learned a lot about relationships. You have to strive to be attentive, even if you don’t always feel like it. You have to work at keeping yourself interesting, so your bond stays fresh and new. And you have to accept that not every day will be a lovefest.

To be frank, sometimes I’ve found myself feeling slightly bored. On the other hand, I’ve often been stimulated beyond my expectations. I think we enjoy ourselves most when we do weird things together, although it’s still fun to just sit around looking at one another. At least, it’s fun for me. There are days when — honestly? — I’ve been known to just stare and stare and stare for hours, without any stray thoughts entering my head.

I admit that my physical appearance may leave something to be desired, but, fortunately, we do our best to get beyond that. And, I’ll tell you a secret: the action in bed is awkward on the rare occasions when I attempt it, but I don’t really mind.

Hey, wait a minute! You didn’t think I was talking about me and my wife, did you? She and I have been together since people were still riding on dinosaurs.

I’m talking about me and this blog. Two hundred and fifty beautiful days and nights together. (The other hundred and fifteen, I wasn’t so crazy about.) I can't believe it's been a whole year since we said "I don't." And as far as lapsing into theism goes: It's not gonna happen.


PhillyChief said...

Happy anniversary.

Babs Gladhand said...

Happy Anniversary. I do have to say that now that I know that you have sex with your blog it makes me feel really dirty when I read it.


Unknown said...

Happy anneversary.

Yep, I feel all dirty now too.

Cragar said...

There are days when — honestly? — I’ve been known to just stare and stare and stare for hours, without any stray thoughts entering my head.

That is some funny stuff.

I tend to do the same thing when I am staring at my work computer screen too.

The Exterminator said...

Thank you all.

Babs, ordinary:
I'm sending you some soap. Ordinary, just use it in the ordinary way. Babs, don't forget to wash out your mouth, too -- or maybe just lather up your keyboard.

Philly, cragar:
You guys can probably also stand a bit of cleaning up. Ask the ladies if you can borrow their Lux when they're done. Or share. We're all atheists around here, right?

Spanish Inquisitor said...

A whole freakin year? I missed half of it. Hope I got the better half.

Please don't take your blog to bed with you. That's just creepy.

tina FCD said...

Okay, you had me going for a minute, but I'm so gullible. Happy Anniversary.

Anonymous said...

I'm envious. My blog always has a headache and nags constantly.