Welcome, 2008. Despite the title of this post, I couldn't resist. That's one resolution broken already. Here are the rest of my resolutions.
- Eat more Brussels sprouts and fewer Hostess Sno Balls. If possible, invent a way to fill Brussels sprouts with cream and cover them in coconut and marshmallow.
- Be nastier to people who come to my door selling god. They're trespassing, both physically and psychically. Continue to respect their right to speak freely, but not on my property.
- In elections, resist the strong temptation to vote for the “lesser of two evils.” Anyone who mixes large doses of religion into politics is sufficiently evil for me not to want him or her in a position of responsibility. Our Democratic “friends” may turn out to be more insidiously harmful than our Republican “enemies;” at least we have our atheistic guard up when the latter are in power. If necessary, swallow hard and write in “The Exterminator” for every single race.
- Don’t publish philosophical space-fillers on No More Hornets. Most philosoblogging, even that with which I agree, is mental masturbation masquerading as deep thinking.
- Challenge other atheists whenever they make statements not supported by evidence. Also, challenge other atheists whenever they say stupid things. Expect to be challenged myself.
- Keep away from situations that may “trigger” my urge to smoke. Look into renting a giant bubble.
Try to be more tactful. Oh, fuck that. Who am I kidding?
Always be honest, because tact is overrated.
- Don’t waste time reading modern screeds about atheism, by atheists, for atheists. Older books and essays are great for their literary value and historical interest, but no atheist writing being done today can make a difference in my own god-free life. I don’t need to have my atheism bolstered. Anyone who does need his or her atheism bolstered is a closet theist.
Now that I’ve stopped smoking, I should exercise once in a while. Exercise has many plusses in its favor: it’s good for my health, it helps clear my mind, and it gives me an excuse to buy more music for my iPod.
Screw exercise. It's boring, and it uses up time that could better be spent snacking.
- Remember what David Hume said: Truth springs from argument amongst friends. So I'll never shirk my duty to disagree with a pal. It’s intellectually dishonest to “play nice” all the time.
- Find some way to earn a living through my atheist writing. Or through saying “fuck” a lot. Or both.
- Remind myself often that blogging is fun. Despite what I’d like to believe when I’m in Grandiosity Mode, I’m not going to change the world through my rants on No More Hornets. I might get a handful of people to laugh once in a while, or to think about something in a slightly new way. That’s great. But I’m not posting because I have any compelling atheistic mission. So if the writing process isn’t enjoyable, why do it?
- Do not, under any circumstances, post images or videos that I think are cute. “Cute” is antithetical to everything I stand for. However, do use more graphics.
Yes, he looks like he flew through a dye factory, but he didn’t. He’s a painted bunting, and I’ve got three males living in the botanical mess behind my house, and frequenting my feeders. (Five females or juveniles are also back there; they’re colored in various shades of green, and look something like pudgy parakeets.) If I were a religious person, I’d point to the painted bunting as a prime example of a godly creation with the sole purpose of giving humans pleasure. Because I think that’s a load of crap, I have to acknowledge that these bird’s don’t give a rat’s ass whether I think they’re beautiful or not. Their adaptations in plumage serve a purpose for them, not for me.
Still, their selfish genes, without any altrustic motivation whatsoever, result in my great joy. I’d like to share that feeling today with all my friends in the Atheosphere. So these images are my way of saying Happy New Year.