Saturday, November 22, 2008

Puzzling Atheists #8: You Are Not Alone

Some alleged humanists have been whining that "agnostics, atheists, and other types of nontheists" feel "a little alone" during "the holiday." Why? "Because of its association with traditional religion." (Read this dumb story, if you don't believe me.)

Duh. It's fucking Christmas. It's not "associated" with traditional religion, it's a holiday rooted in religion. That holds true whether one celebrates Christ's birth, the coming of Mithra, a visit from a fat saint, the barbaric Maccabees' victory over civilized Hellenistic culture, the hedonistic pleasures of Saturn's rule, or the rebirth of the sun. Religion, religion, religion. Accept it, you numnuts.

In any case, most of the atheists I know don't need any excuse for having a damned good time. So I'm jumping the gun a little on Christmas to prove my point.

The following pictures can be combined, in groups of three, to form the names of eight characters whom we'll either hear from or about this Yuletide. The images are scattered around. Your job is to figure out which ones go with which. Some of the combinations are straightforward. For example: a picture of (1) a knee, (2) Tim Russert, and (3) a necktie could be combined to form: tie+knee+Tim = Tiny Tim. Other combinations require both your indulgence and your ability to hear yourself as you read aloud. For example: A picture of (1) a gull, (2) a can of Crisco, and (3) a wedding band could be combined to form Crisco+ring+gull = Criscoringull = Kris Kringle.

Please do NOT put your answers in a comment. Send them to me via email. Show your work. Anyone identifying six or more of the clued personae will get an honorable mention. That ought to make you feel less alone, huh?





[Honorable Mentions:
The team of Oobie Doobies - Ubi Dubium & Ubi Dubius (8 correct)
Laurie (8 correct)]

28 comments:

PhillyChief said...

Should I know who the black family is?

The Exterminator said...

Philly:
That's a tough question to answer with either a "yes" or "no." You will need to know the family, but you might have to figure out what family it is. There is at least one person in the picture whom you might recognize.

Anonymous said...

I see that there are 24 images...does this mean that each image will be used once and only once, or can they be reused with some not being used?

Laurie said...

That's odd. My post today includes Tiny Tim, too. The Tiptoe Through The Tulips one, though.

Rev. Reed Braden said...

Just for fun... not a real answer: Babe + Beak + Cake = Babycakes

The Exterminator said...

Anonymous:
Yes, there are 24 images. Each is used once and once only.

Laurie:
Yes, Tiny Tim gets around during this season.

Reed:
I'm guessing that you're one of those students who always comes up with brilliant answers on a test, even though they're not relevant to the questions asked.

Ubi Dubium said...

Well, we think we got them all. I've sent them in to Ex, so let's see what he thinks.

The Exterminator said...

Ubi Dubium & Ubi Dubius:
Yup, all correct. I'm very impressed.

The Upbeat Cynic said...

I just stopped by to cause trouble. So, consider it caused. Hi Ex!

The Exterminator said...

Upbeat:
If you had said, "I just stopped by to cause fucking trouble," more people would recognize you.

the chaplain said...

I'm not going to play for two reasons:

1. I'm terrible at these sorts of puzzles.
2. I'm not lonely.

The Upbeat Cynic said...

Okay. I'll fucking play along. I just fucking stopped by to fucking cause some fucking trouble. Are you fucking happy now?

the chaplain said...

Ah, that's the cynic we all know and luck.

Fucking good to hear from you.

the chaplain said...

The cynic we all know and love.

Jesus, it's a good thing I didn't make the obvious typo!

The Upbeat Cynic said...

If only I was getting fucked all of you.

Laurie said...

Just me and an entire team (ok, a team of two, but hey!) got honorable mention so far? Seriously? Woo hoo! It may have been a long and torturous process, but it was fun! Thanks again.

Cynic, I don't really know you well enough to ask if you missed out a comma or the word 'by' in there. Just tell me to fuck off if the question is too personal...

The Upbeat Cynic said...

Laurie - I missed the word 'by'. Maybe my inability of being able to form complete sentences explains my inability to get fucked. Thanks for letting me know. I need all the help I can get. Obviously.

The Exterminator said...

Everybody:
Am I gonna have to make this a no-typo zone?

Laurie:
Yes, your mention is very honorable. Now all you need is a financial bailout and you'll be sitting pretty.

Upbeat:
In my experience, an ability to form complete sentences is not a requirement for casual sex. Just a short "sure" will do.

Tor Hershman said...

Behold the lilies of the field, how they grow; they photosynthetically labor MUCH and weave sunlight and chemicals most industrially, they sow much oxygen to the air, too.

Yes, moi once again corrects a saying that was totally in error till me little paraphrasing.


Anywho, does a society “Need” its myths?
If societies “Needed” their myths then those ancient societies would still be around soooooooo – society does not “Need” myths.

cl said...

Didn't know where to post this, but I have a question: In a recent email to me, regarding my implications of an atheist team, you said, "I have no "team,"" - yet on SI's blog in 2007 you told John, "..it’s nice to have you on our side."

I'm confused - was it that you used to think there was something analogous to an atheist team that one could be "on the side" of, and you later changed your position?

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