Friday, June 22, 2007

Danger! Not Suitable for Children!

Uh-oh.

What's My Blog Rated? From Mingle2 - Online Dating

Following the lead of a few other atheist blogs, I decided to submit my own shit for a fucking rating. There are plenty of godless bloggers out there who, as it turns out, don't really write for adults only. This fact surprised me, because if we were really attracting youngsters, you'd think there would be at least one atheist figurine included in a MacDonald's Happy Meal.

But, for example, look at these blogs I visit regularly. What's with the PG-13, you inquisitional wimp? That's only slightly more risque than Teletubbies. And who does this near-nun think she is, calling herself a hussy? A rating like that wouldn't get her banned from a Catholic junior-high dance! If you really want a shock, check out arch-fiend P.Z. Myers, whose heathen rants are squeaky clean enough to be read to the Barney set as bedtime stories.

Only my nasty fellow conspirator, vjack, received the grown-up rating most of us atheists would seem to deserve. I make it a point to read his scurrilous writing often, but I must admit that now I'll be sure to cover my ears when I do.

Mingle2, the online dating Web site (!?) that provided the algorithm for the scoring, listed only a few criteria for its judgments. In my case, according to the folks over there, during my approximately eight months of blogging, I've used "bitch" three times, "hell" two times, "corpse" and "kill" once each. (That's not counting this post, which gives the minglers four more chances to wag their fingers at me.) Needless to say, I, myself, am horrified by such fucking bad language, goddamn blasphemy, and bloodthirsty violence.

Not a single mention, though, of all the damnable bible-bashing coming from any of us. Which only goes to prove: You can call Jesus any name you want, as long as it's not "bitch."

Click on the sticker above to find out your blog's rating.

4 comments:

yinyang said...

And if you were gay, you'd get an NC-17 rating.

Psychodiva said...

I managed an R rating for four mentions of hell :) a bit like my school reports - could do better?

Chuck Blanchard said...

Can you believe that my blog was rated NC-17? I guess it is because we Episcopalians seem rather obsessed with sex in recent years.

(And yes, i will get around to responding to the meme one of these days)

The Exterminator said...

Actually, Chuck, I must confess that I ran your blog through the algorithm and already knew what your rating was. If I remember correctly, the rater "punished" you for mentioning abortion frequently. Of course, when you're blogging about Democratic (big D and little d) ideals, as you often do, it's impossible not to mention abortion often.

Now, if the rating had been because of the frequent use of four-letter words, I would have been surprised in your case. But a Democrat vociferously supporting a woman's right to own her own body? You should "wear" your rating proudly.