Jesus Christ and the Goddamned Searchengine
This is not really a post, it's just me bragging. Somebody typed the following into Google:
JESUS CHRIST WHY CAN I NEVER FIND ANYTHING I SEARCH FO ON THIS GODDAMNED SEARCHENGINEand No More Hornets was the first result.
Oddly enough, if the person had spelled out the word FOR, instead of mistyping FO, this blog would have been only the second result.
However, had the person spelled out the word FOR and also separated SEARCH ENGINE into two words, I would have been first again.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Hey, Exterminator, I enjoyed reading this.
9 comments:
Why yes, yes he does. :)
God must be pointing people to you so that they can see the light and become atheists. Or it's a conspiracy perpetuated by that evil atheist empire, Google.
Be it wild phrases, misspelled words or invoking Paris Hilton, Ex knows how to manipulate search engines. You literally are putting on a clinic with your blog.
How can you call Google an atheist empire when it has its own church? It could be that Google is leading people here before showing them the divine alternative It offers.
From Evie (undercover atheist)
Hey, Philly, much as I would have liked to, I didn't manipulate that original search engine hit. Of course, if you type in the phrase now, you'll get this very post. But originally, I just found that search term sitting in one of my statistics trackers. When I clicked on it, my Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton post was the number 1 result. Then I tried the variants.
Now, unfortunately, I've knocked Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton down to number 2.
So I had to ask myself Jesus Christ, Why Can I Never think of these ramifications of my actions in advance?
Hold the phone, I think this means you are Jesus Christ. I mean the searcher was obviously asking JC a question and you were the first person Google pointed to. And then in your comment you said So I had to ask myself Jesus Christ.
Is there something you're not telling us? 'Cause if you can turn water into wine and you've been holding out on us, I'm gonna be pissed.
Babs:
Well, I'm trying to perfect that wine thing. Right now, all I can make is a kind of soapy-tasting pink stuff. When I produce something decent, I'll let you know.
But if you're gonna be pissed anyway, do you mind if I ask you to save some of your fluids. I'm wondering what would happen if I substituted that for the water.
Babs said: 'Cause if you can turn water into wine and you've been holding out on us, I'm gonna be pissed.
I'd be a whole lot more interested in his ability to change iron into gold. I guess that's a different subject but, hey, Son of God should be able to do it if anyone can.
Ex - when I saw "searchengine" I thought maybe you were doing your word creation gig.
That is pretty funny.
Most people end up on my blog using one interesting word
guilt.
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