Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Googl-oetry Revisited

[Note: Back in July, I invented a new art form: Googl-oetry. To write a Googl-oem, you simply have to look at one or more of your traffic-trackers and find the phrases people keyed into various search engines that wound up taking them to your blog. Then, organize those phrases — without altering them in any way — to create a delicious piece of literature.

Here's my latest Googl-oem. All key phrases were used in the month of February. Each phrase appears exactly as it was typed in by some idiot looking for information. I've repeated phrases only when they were repeated in searches. I apologize in advance for offending any sensibilities, but don't blame me; I'm only the messenger.]

old japanese song about a boy( whistle

if you could only see the way she loves me maybe you’d understand
VALEN
story of indian mother in law hard fuck with own father in law
happy valen
story of indian daughter in law hard fuck with own father in la
valen time day
hornet house wife wanted a fuck
happy valen emotion
fucking my own sister stories
happy valen day
storys of uncle fucking me
imagini hapy valen day
my wife fuck my friend end me
happy valen’s day
fucking babis video
VALEN TIMES DAY
are you better today than 8 years ago 2008
yes virginia, there is a jesus

happy valen
happy valen
happy valen
happy valen
futile repetition aristotle
Ronald Reagan quote from his dairy about George W Bush
Leah Remini democrat or republican?

there are no clothes in heaven
tact is overrated
rebecca romijn naked fantasy
playboy bunny holy
playboy johnadams
hot secretary
decadent nudist groups
christian nudes
warm glow of electric sex in the window
rosebud underwear
hey we got color tv!
Adjectives appeal to the sense of smelling
Fill in the blank game with names, adjectives, etx.
one fine morning in may, a slim young horsewoman may have been seen
riding handsome sorrel mare along the flowery avenues of the bois de bologne
ron paul on dogmas that plague our nations
dogs wouldn't move, and by the end of the night she was peeing and pooping uncontrollably
shitting licking
Good advice to give a friend
proceed at your own risk blog
proceed at your own risk website
Proceed At your Own Risk
how often do I need an exterminator?
any comments

18 comments:

PhillyChief said...

AH, I think I'm responsible for supplying you with two of those lines that made you hit worthy by Google. :)

There seems to be a lot of people googling "fuck" and perhaps Van Halen. The "shitting licking" hits are pretty disturbing, but the "christian nudes" is quite amusing. What goes through the mind of that googler? - "oh man, I want to see some hot, naked chicks so bad, but they have to have accepted Jesus as their lord and savior" tippety tap tippety tap.

Spanish Inquisitor said...

I typed in "Christian vulvas" but your site didn't come up, though I did find The Vulva Museum, which is pretty cool. Who knew?

PhillyChief said...

Vulva Pie! Wow, what a site!

C. L. Hanson said...

Impressive!!!

The search queries I get aren't so poetic. Most of them are either sex at BYU, sex on the first date, naked Mormon girls, or naked comics. lol

PhillyChief said...

I don't even know how you do this stuff, that's how much of a boob I am to blogging and this whole series of tubes called the interweb or something. I have no idea how anybody finds me through google. You mean it's not just for my pretty pictures and clever writing?

the chaplain said...

Lordy, lordy!

Do those hits indicate something about you, the blogger who apparently writes about really weird shit, or about the people who search for blogs and want to read about really weird shit.? And what does the fact that I stop by here on a regular basis say about me? :(

the chaplain said...

SI - I probably don't want to know why you were searching for Christian vulvas, and why you expected to find them here, do I?

The Exterminator said...

Philly:
AH, I think I'm responsible for supplying you with two of those lines that made you hit worthy by Google.

Yes, as I remember it, you're the one who included these lines in comments: story of indian daughter in law hard fuck with own father in la and Leah Remini democrat or republican?

SI:
I can't even begin to tell you how much I wish that the Vulva Museum was right up the road from the Creationist Museum.

C.L.:
Well, the terms you've given for your site are at least relevant to something you've written. I don't remember ever saying anything about Adjectives appeal to the sense of smelling or dogs wouldn't move, and by the end of the night she was peeing and pooping uncontrollably. I don't even own a fucking dog, f'cryinoutloud!

chappy:
And what does the fact that I stop by here on a regular basis say about me?
It says that you're curious about old japanese song about a boy( whistle and Ronald Reagan quote from his dairy about George W Bush. Aren't we all? Particularly now that those topics have been announced on the agenda of the International Militant Atheists' Conspiracy convention.

the chaplain said...

An IMAC convention? Figures; I'm running a PC.

John Evo said...

I knew Ronald Reagan had a ranch, but no idea he had a dairy. Maybe he built it for Trinity.

The stuff you were telling C.L. that you don't remember saying - I believe you said most of them, but it was not about a dog. Think about it.

tina FCD said...

"warm glow of electric sex in the window"

Hmmm.....weird.
You are nuts!

yinyang said...

If this was a room, I would be sorely tempted to back away... slowly.

Ordinary Girl said...

Oh, oh, oh, I have to try this!

(and no, I'm not referring to any of your search terms)

JP said...

Wow, there are some freaks out there.


Thanks for the laugh.

Where do you find out, in your blog stats, how people arrived at your blog? I am not computer savvy so be gentle.

The Exterminator said...

JP:
There are two services I like, both of which give you stats and tell you where your traffic is coming from.

One is StatCounter, and the other is HitTail. They're both free and include instructions about how to make them work with Blogger. When you check out these sites, you'll learn what they each can do.

Kelly said...

But really... how often do I need an exterminator? And what better place to find "christian nudes" than here?

C. L. Hanson said...

You'll be thrilled to know that -- thanks to your comments on my site -- I just got a hit this morning for "exterminator sex stories". No joke. Yes, blogging and statcounter have taught me the heart-warming fact that "sex stories" include everybody... :D

The Exterminator said...

Kelly:
... what better place to find "christian nudes" than here?

I hear there's a new Christian porno site called The Sex Acts of the Apostles.

C.L.:
Well, I've tried to be discreet about my sex stories, and now I find out that they're appearing on your blog? I thought that stuff was just between you and me.