Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Maybe Pat Robertson Can Explain This

Tuesday night, February 5

1. Mike Huckabee wins Republican primaries in the states of Arkansas, Tennessee, Alabama, and Georgia.

2. Killer tornadoes hit the states of Arkansas, Tennessee, and Alabama, and threaten Georgia.



There must be some connection between these events. Don't you think so, Pat?
Where's Jerry Falwell when we need him to clarify things?

If my readers have any ideas, please let me know. I'm so confused.

22 comments:

Brendan said...

I was just about to put up an almost identical post. Glad I checked in here, first.

Great minds, and all that ...

the chaplain said...

Maybe He's testing their faith. I've heard tell that things happen that way, sometimes.

(((Billy))) said...

God is obviously rewarding them. After all, look how god rewarded Job. Or look how god rewarded Hamm when he helped Noah after Noah fell asleep naked. How many times have you seen a newspaper article about something horrible happening to a family, and somewhere in the article is a statement along the lines of: "They are god-fearing people. How could this happen to them?" I see a pattern here.

bullet said...

Just a taste of what's to come in the Huckabee United Christian States. The dominionists snd end-of-days nuts must be SO excited.

Scatological Incredulous said...

Billy, I think you're on to something here. It IS a reward.

Just think of all the people who will be employed helping to clean up and repair the damage wrought by this Act of God. Think of the funeral directors, grave diggers, and tombstone salesmen, able to pay off their Christmas bills. There's there all that overtime for the cops, fireman, ambulance drivers, EMS and social workers immediately after the devastation, not to mention the psychologists, psychiatrists and grief counselors.

Praise the Lord!

SI

The Exterminator said...

Well, Huckabee also carried West Virginia but nothing bad happened there. At least not last night. So what's up with that?

Did somebody -- I don't wanna point any fingers -- fall asleep at the wheel?

JP said...

Ahh, yes. I am looking forward to the spin on this one.

Nice thinking Ex.

Spanish Inquisitor said...

Not even God would make W. Va. worse than it already is.

Anonymous said...

Hey Patty!!! :) I have a question. First of all I'm for "gay rights, but I was wondering if you could enlighten us as to why "goddy" let those terrible storms hit the South??? I DO NOT think it's funny that those storms hit the South. I was just wondering if maybe you could give us your "DEVINE INTERVENTION" as to why it happened. Did my "GAY PEOPLE" move to the South recently or was he tierd of the "BIGOTS", like you?? anyway, please let me know..i just can't figure this terrible thing out. OH, wait a minute...it must have been the "Mardi Gras" the other night and he just blew to hard and the breeze kept on going! Boy, he must have been really mad! Anyway, Patty, maybe you should realize that ALL NATURAL DISASTER'S happen to EVERYONE, not just people who are not straight...maybe you'd understand the "REAL" meaning of life, but for some reason..i'm thinking it won't happen. :(

Infidel753 said...

Isn't it obvious? God is calling His people home. He's sending these disasters to kill Huckabee's most fervent supporters so they can be gathered into Heaven.

Which means they won't be here to vote for him any more -- a win-win situation!

Anonymous said...

Mike hukabee is a christian.

my daddie is voting 4 him becauze he once gods kingdum restored here on earth.

Do you all worship the devel or somthing?


Little Jack

Lynet said...

Very amusing observation.

You're really getting addicted to the whole "chrsitians with badd speling" thing, aren't you? I have to say, having seen Trinity properly in action over at JPs place, I begin to fully appreciate the evil genius of the idea.

Babs said...

Here's part of an article I found about the tornadoes.

Standing Wednesday amid the debris field of twisted metal and pink insulation, Carmon Lagunes struggled to grasp why God would take her sister.

"That's his wrath," she said, looking toward the wreckage. "For some reason, he's not happy right now and this is. ... Nobody understands God's will. I sure as hell don't understand it.

Said Anita Goodnight, the sisters' aunt: "God didn't do it. Satan did."


Obviously neither God nor Satan want Huckabee for president.

PhillyChief said...

You know what's funny? If it was a gay atheist running who won those states, you know those fundies would be declaring, "end times!" and quoting Revelations. Huckleberry? You get shrugs, "Nobody understands God's will" or Satan gets the blame.

Did I say funny? I meant frustrating and pathetic.

The Exterminator said...

Brendan:
Great minds is right. SI sent me an email to say he had the same idea, too. But I'm the only one who decided that a lame one-liner joke could be passed off as a post by embellishing it with a couple of photos.

chappy:
Maybe God isn't testing the faith of the people. Maybe he's testing the faith of the tornadoes. Something like, "If you really loved me, you'd come to Arkansas and Tennessee once in a while."

(((Billy))):
Do you realize that there's not one single parenthesis in your comment here? Is that what's gonna happen now that you've got your own blog? You'll be hoarding all the parentheses for yourself?

bullet:
Just a taste of what's to come in the Huckabee United Christian States.
Yeah, if Huckabee gets elected, I'll bet his government tries to take the Pledge out of "Under God."

JP:
I am looking forward to the spin on this one.
I'm thinking the tornadoes were enough spin for the time being.

SI:
Not even God would make W. Va. worse than it already is.
What if he put it in Texas?

Infidel:
God is calling His people home. He's sending these disasters to kill Huckabee's most fervent supporters so they can be gathered into Heaven.
I didn't realize tornadoes were part of the plan. I thought the good Christians were just gonna be lifted straight up into the air.

Anon:
Clever idea for a character. I think Artemus Ward and Orpheus C. Kerr were both doing that misspelling thing back in the 19th century.

Lynet:
Hey, I'm getting therapy for my addiction to "badd speling;" my shrink is a Fraudian. I don't know who those other "chrsitians" are, but I would never comment as "Anonymous." My eggo's far too big for that.

Babs:
Maybe if Anita's last name was "Wakeup" instead of "Goodnight," the tornadoes would have left her family alone.

Philly:
You get shrugs, "Nobody understands God's will" or Satan gets the blame.
God's sort of like the naughty older sibling who keeps pointing the finger at his little brother. "I didn't do nuthin. Satan broke it."

(((Billy))) said...

Ex: Sorry. But, if I am now the (Parenthetical) atheist, I need my parentheses.

PhillyChief said...

It's now just McCain and Huckleberry. The Republican Presidential Race has lost its Mittens. Can it win without magic underwear? Let's hope not.

The Exterminator said...

Has anybody given any thought to how fucking embarrassing it is for all Americans that a person like Schmuckabee is actually garnering substantial numbers of votes to be our leader?

theparentheticalatheist said...

Ex: Here's the way it breaks down for me: About 40% of the American voters are Republican (give or take a little). Said Republicans are about evenly split (with some slop over (what an appropriate term)) among theocrats, war hawks and low taxers. Huckabee will get the theocrats hands down. McCain will get the war hawks hands down (or he should - some of the polling shows that anti-war Republicans see him as the face of change (WTF!)). The no-taxers are the ones who McCain and Hucklebee will now fight over. It now becomes a contest over who can move the most money from the poor and middle class to the rich and big business.

Park of me would like to see Hucklebee get the nomination because I think it will tear the Republican Party in twain, leaving 'conservative' debris across the landscape. Part of me would like to see McCain win becuase even his fellow Republican senators think he is unfit to hold the office of the Presidency (which after Bush is saying alot) plus many theocrats will, if Dobson has his way, recuse themselves from the political process and/or create a third political party. For either to win, they will have to court the most extreme elements of the three Republican parties, thus, hopefully, alienating the center.

The only way I see that the Republicans could possibly win in November would be a McCain-Hucklebee ticket (or vice-versa (that's where the vice is worser)).

Ordinary Girl said...

The only way I see that the Republicans could possibly win in November would be a McCain-Hucklebee ticket (or vice-versa (that's where the vice is worser)).

I heard (and I'm not sure it's true) that Huckabee was endorsing McCain, but he's staying in the race to gather delegates and barter with McCain for the Vice Presidency. Or at least that's what the right wingers are complaining about (like Rush).

John Evo said...

I just love them all calling each other names! It's sooooo cool.

grumpylion said...

This is all Conan O'Brien's doing.