Monday, December 10, 2007

I Saw Romney Kissing Santa Claus

Santa Claus Endorses Governor Romney! OK, I hate to do this to you, but you're gonna have to click on that link and at least watch the video (not the one to the right of the post, but the one embedded in it) before you read any further.

All done? Now maybe you're prepared to sing along:

I saw Romney kissing Santa Claus,
Underneath the chimney flue this year.
That Santa, what a creep,
In his bag reached really deep,
And handed up a gift to Mitt for
Luring in the sheep.

Then I heard Romney telling Santa Claus,
“'Under God' is what I love to hear!"
Oh, what a tragedy it was
For secularists becuz,
Romney’s kissing ev'ry fundy's rear.


PhillyChief said...

How could Santa not give him some new Magic Underpants?

or perhaps the mittens were to help him against the sin of masturbation? If so, the REAL Santa would have known of NoBeat; therefore, this is probably not the real Santa.

The Exterminator said...


Back in the late 60s I knew a girl who had magic underpants. They disappeared whenever anyone asked them to.

C. L. Hanson said...

I'm disappointed -- I was thinking it would be a video of people singing the song you've posted here.

It's funny though that that apparently pro-Mitt post mentioned the Romney campaign lining up an endorsement from the tooth fairy next. Makes sense, since they've got Santa and Jesus...

Anonymous said...

Judging from the size of many Mormon families (including Mitt's), I suppose an endorsement from the Easter Bunny is a given.

John Evo said...

c.l. hanson said: I'm disappointed -- I was thinking it would be a video of people singing the song you've posted here.

Oh, c.l. - you CHEATED! Ex CLEARLY said but you're gonna have to click on that link and at least watch the video ...before you read any further.

@ EX - meanwhile the real choice of the theist community, Huckabee Hound, moves further and further ahead of the Mittster. Doesn't Mitt realize that fundies don't care what Santa has to say? They take their marching orders straight from Jesus and he's endorsing the Hound.

@ Chappy - funny! If he's still in the race, he can break that one out at Easter.

Jocelyn said...

With Huckabee gaining popularity, Romney may also need the endorsement of the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny before he stands a chance at the nomination.

Jocelyn said...

Whoops--Just read The Chaplain's comment. Great minds and all.

The Exterminator said...

This is probably not the real Santa.
You're right. If it were, he would have checked his list and found out that Romney has been very bad all year.

They got Santa and Jesus.
I'm not sure whether they've got the adult Jesus or the baby Jesus. I've heard the baby Jesus is a lot less discriminating in his taste; apparently he tried to put some of that myrrh up his nose. Perhaps Romney has endorsements from both Jesi. We'll know it if we start seeing the Mormon symbol in pee stains.

Yes, the Easter Bunny is all hopped up over Romney, and is dyeing for him to become our next Chief Eggs-executive.

Well, Huckabee may have moved ahead of Romney, but his name won't scan in the title of my song. In fact, offhand, the only lyric I can think of using him for, is this variation on "The Happy Wanderer":
Huckabee, Hucka-bah!
Huckabee, Hucka-bah ha-ha-ha ha-ha.

You're welcome to steal and repeat jokes here on NMH. I do it all the time.

Looking at your blog, I can't tell if you're an atheist or not, but I know one thing: you're pretty goddamn funny. I hope you'll stop by again.

PhillyChief said...

Don't you find it amusing that both Mitt and Huck (sounds like a fun comedy team) love waving that christian flag yet object to discussions about their religion and their views? What? We can't inquire about magic underpants or how the moron, oops, mormon bible trumps the christian bible? For Huck, there's an all out effort to hide or destroy any record of any sermon he ever gave. Aren't christians supposed to testify or something? Shouldn't these yahoos be fully willing to talk and talk and talk about their beliefs instead of hide, evade and doubletalk? If they think they'd be seen as loons, then what's that say about their faiths? What's that say about their faith in their respective faiths?

John Evo said...

Don't fret, Philly... we will talk about their religious beliefs for the next 12 months, even if THEY don't want to! We just need to see who the Republicans are going to give us before we waste too much time on any one supernaturalist.

Babs Gladhand said...

Bravo on the song, Ex. I had no idea Santa was a Mormon, but I'm pretty sure in that video he was plastered.