Saturday, August 16, 2008

Atheist Nexus Sexus Plexus

Well, I decided to join that bastion of rationality, Atheist Nexus. Maybe because I’m happily married and an old fart to boot, I blithely assumed that AN was going to be a place for a lively exchange of freethinking ideas. Turns out I was wrong. It’s mostly a site for people who want to write comments without bothering to read the previous ones on the same thread. It also gives folks a rare and wonderful opportunity to share their favorite songs, if anyone cares (which they don't). It provides each member with an excellent excuse to pimp his or her blog or podcast, except that hardly anyone clicks on the links because they're all too busy pimping their own blogs or podcasts. In the sidebar, it features informative blurbs, courtesy of Google Ads, about religious Web sites; this doesn’t bother anyone, of course, because we all understand that AN has to make a buck to keep providing us with such a fantastic service.

The bottom line is, though: Atheist Nexus is primarily a fantasy dating site. About half the members are looking to hook up. Perhaps one or two couples actually will.

Anyway, I did an informal poll among the oh-so-rational community at Atheist Nexus to determine what qualities they were looking for in potential skeptical partners. Here’s what I discovered:

Responses by Men/Boys

  • Big boobs
  • Likes loud rock bands that no one has ever heard of
  • Avidly reads sci-fi, but only if it's written by guys
  • Finds geeks attractive
  • Eager to listen to pointless rants
  • Did I mention big boobs?
  • Thinks it’s hilarious to spell “the” as TEH
  • Will sleep with anyone who accepts evolution
  • Ummm... I included big boobs already, right?
  • Not too religious
Responses by Women/Girls
  • Loves kittens
  • Respects woman for there brians
  • Well hung, but not outrageously so
  • Is able to shut up once in a while during quiet walks on the beach
  • Loves children (but not that way)
  • Is willing to watch depressing documentaries and/or chick flicks
  • Well, a little outrageously would be OK
  • Won’t mind that my BBF is a gay male Baptist
  • Enjoys cuddling before and after sex, and sometimes instead of
  • Not too religious
For the record, both my wife and I are not too religious.

20 comments:

John Evo said...

So you would recommend it highly?

Look, not every site that caters to freethinkers needs to be intellectually stimulating. Hey, I may be getting divorced soon. If so, think of the possibilities. Or, at least let ME think. And what about our friend, The Horny Lion? Poor atheist hasn't been laid since the shooting started at Kent State. This could be the opportunity that his blog has failed to provide.

Anyway, when we talk about freethinkers having a "community", there's more to that than just ranting about religious intrusions in our lives. We'd actually like to have a life to protect from intrusion.

Just so I don't get as sour as you - It WAS a funny post!

the chaplain said...

I joined AN several weeks ago but haven't had time to check it out very thoroughly. Since I'm happily married, there's obviously not much for me to do over there. So, move over a bit and pass the chips, dips and margaritas my way.

Oz Atheist said...

Well I'd been thinking of joining AN but had heard some bad stories about it.

Now you've mentioned it's also a dating site...

To any atheist ladies out there:
- I like kittens, but cats shit me
- I respect women for their brains (as long as they use them)
- Well, I'm hung
- I'm happy to shut up, if they are
- pass on the children
- pass the tissues
- um
- being male and ex baptist I guess I can't complain
- free hugs anyone
- not religious one iota

PS - big boobs would be an advantage :-)

What do you reckon my chances are?

Venjanz said...

I once posted this on another site:

"What I am looking for"

1. Never been married
2. No children
3. Does not take antidepressants
4. Fingers are sufficient to count sex partners
5. Age 25-35
6. Is a computer geek that weighs less than 160lbs
7. You are Asian, Russian, or Easter European.

grumpylion said...

Evo -

Actually it was 1995 and I would have kept her but she was on the bounce and wanted to go back in the pond. And I'm pretty certain I did get laid the year of Kent State. As I recall I got married that year. It was an interesting six weeks.

As for AN dating, if there's one thing that can be said with certainty about internet dating, it's that the women you're interested in either live too far away or they're lying about something. (Vice-versa, of course.)

Anyway, The Lion is not unlike the dog that chases cars. If he ever caught one, what would he do with it? Unlike the dog, The Lion has figured out it's not really his game, but he can make jokes about it.

As for big boobs, they're largely overrated. Fun, but overrated.

vjack said...

You must have found a different Atheist Nexus. The one I've been on could hardly be described as a dating site. I want to visit the one you are talking about - might be more fun.

PhillyChief said...

What's "Easter European", Venjanz? A woman with a lot of eggs?

I've found that AN is not necessarily a dating site, but it is full of 15-25 year olds, so what do you get from kids like that? Moronic comments and flirting, which makes it a de facto dating site. Atheist Facebook. How long before we get spammed with the bogus list of ladies who want to be our friends who all have stripper names, hot photos, and a link to some pay site?

John Evo said...

@ Ric, who said: Anyway, The Lion is not unlike the dog that chases cars. If he ever caught one, what would he do with it? Unlike the dog, The Lion has figured out it's not really his game, but he can make jokes about it.

I do believe the Lion and the Middleman share some genetic material.

@ VJack - don't pay attention to him. He's grumpier than any Lion you'll ever come across.

grumpylion said...

Evo -

...the Lion and the Middleman share some genetic material

Could it be that you are my long-lost non-existent brother?

The Exterminator said...

Evo:
I'm not much for "communities," except for geographic ones. I think it's a great idea for atheists to band together for political and/or legal purposes in a world of woo. But there's no particular reason why I should enjoy reading banalities just because they were posted by atheists. There are dozens of freethinkers in the Atheosphere who express themselves well, but there are plenty of stupid ones, too. I don't see any reason why I should automatically give a fuck what songs or movies or books or foods or sports teams or vacation spots another atheist likes. Generic photos of cute kitties and dull stories about one's precocious children are equally gaggy whether they're produced by believers or skeptics. (There are exceptions, however.) And I know I'm being blasphemous here, but frankly, unless I'm already interested in what a person has to say, why should I give a fuck how he or she became an atheist?

chappy:
Would you like your margarita with or without salt on the rim of the glass? I hope you say "with," because then you could join me in Salted Rim Nexus, where all the members have a lot in common.

Oz:
I think your chances are fine, but you'd probably do just as well in the bar down the street.

Venjanz:
I never went for Easter women, whether they were European or not. I don't care for those long ears.

grumpy:
... if there's one thing that can be said with certainty about internet dating, it's that the women you're interested in either live too far away or they're lying about something.
Everybody's lying about something. And, by the way, you'll never meet a woman by chasing her car down the street.

vjack:
In the interests of full disclosure, perhaps you should mention the fact that you've been instrumental in promoting Atheist Nexus. But let me ask you this: What's available on Atheist Nexus that isn't already available in the Atheosphere -- other than some bogus sense of "community"?

Philly:
What are you saying about all those women who write to me wanting to be my friend? You think that's spam, you jealous son of a bitch?

Spanish Inquisitor said...

How long before we get spammed with the bogus list of ladies who want to be our friends who all have stripper names, hot photos, and a link to some pay site?

Is that where that shit's coming from?

John Evo said...

Ex said: I don't see any reason why I should automatically give a fuck what songs or movies or books or foods or sports teams or vacation spots another atheist likes.

No one said anything about "automatic". You can pick and choose there, just like you can in the atheosphere. Personally, yes, I'd rather have a conversation about the Green Bay Packers or Reggae music with an atheist, all other things being equal.

Good point about Vjack. I'd forgotten that he was involved with promoting the site.

So, what say ye, Vjack?

Lynet said...

- Well, I'm hung

For my list of desirables, can you please scratch that third point in favour of 'capable of making jokes like the above'?

You can leave the seventh one up, though.

vjack said...

Yes, I was actively promoting the site for a time. I assumed that was common knowledge. I thought it might be a valuable addition to the community. I still think it has potential, just not as a dating site.

What's available on Atheist Nexus that isn't already available in the Atheosphere -- other than some bogus sense of "community"?

Over 3,000 atheists. Utilized effectively, this could turn AN into a valuable force for organizing, sharing information, etc. Then again, I think there are enough structural limitations with the way it is set up that this is unlikely to happen. I see it as a step in the right direction but acknowledge that many more steps are needed.

I no longer view myself as recommending it as much as reporting on it. I want people to know it is there and decide for themselves whether they think it might be worthwhile.

Alejandro BolaƱos Rosales said...

But there's no particular reason why I should enjoy reading banalities just because they were posted by atheists. There are dozens of freethinkers in the Atheosphere who express themselves well, but there are plenty of stupid ones, too.
I think the same. I mean, I've been reading the Planet Atheism feed for a while, but most of the post are just boring or poorly written or both. Being atheists doesn't make us more intelligent, nor does it mean that we use reason and logic more than theists. It means that in the particular question of the existence of god we may be giving the more intelligent answer than they are.
So of course there are plenty of stupid atheists out there and not everything an atheist says has to be intelligent or interesting. I called my blog Babble and Rants because that's what it's be for most of the people, just babble. Calling it something like "Deep Thoughts" would've been rather... arrogant? But I write in the hope that people actually like what I write and may share common attitudes towards religion.
And back to Atheist Nexus, I am not a member, but hearing that is has become more of a dating site is no wonder. Putting a bunch of atheist together won't make it a better site than MySpace. You want a forum to discuss and help the "cause"? volunteer at the Richard Dawkins Website http://richarddawkins.net/volunteers.

The Exterminator said...

SI:
Is that where that shit's coming from?
Actually, I told spammers that I'd changed my address -- and gave them yours.

Evo:
I'd rather have a conversation about the Green Bay Packers or Reggae music with an atheist, all other things being equal.
The operative words there are "all other things being equal." I'd much rather talk about Reggae, say, with an expert than with an atheist who just claims to like it. In my experience, on any topic, all other things are never equal.

Lynet:
So should we be fixing you up with Oz Atheist just at the very moment when you're leaving that part of the world?

vjack:
I want people to know it is there and decide for themselves whether they think it might be worthwhile.
That's pretty much my attitude about everything. Except, of course, the First Amendment, which shouldn't be open to question.

Alejandro:
Being atheists doesn't make us more intelligent, nor does it mean that we use reason and logic more than theists. It means that in the particular question of the existence of god we may be giving the more intelligent answer than they are.
I'm inclined to agree, but I'm not convinced. I think faithfreeism makes us more open to actually using our intelligence in all kinds of areas. You might want to check out this post on Evo's blog.

heather said...

Ex
So funny. Is it some sort of evolutionary thing, for selective breeding of atheists?

Everyone else,
Hi
I am Easter doll looking for atheist husband.
I read ur profile and know you would love to see my pix on cheapcarisurance.co.ru
Am so excited about seeing u.
Candy Starlight

The Exterminator said...

Candy:
U cn see my profile and pix at Atheist Navel. Also u cn learn important stuff about me like my fave book (The God Delusion), person (Richard Dawkin), and philosifer (sp???) (Richard Dawkin). U sound nice. I am sorry that I do not need cheapcarisuarnce bcuz I do not own a car. :( But if I get one when I grow up I will rite 2 u. Thx.

EnoNomi said...

Venjanz said...

"What I am looking for"

6. Is a computer geek that weighs less than 160lbs

As a computer geek, I have to inform you that the only ones who weigh under 160lbs are male and Hindu.

Ramon Lorenzo Lafuente said...

Absolutely subscribe your words Alejandro







Ramon Lorenzo Lafuente